The Cox Family Blog: The National Lampoon's Cox Family Vacation

After numerous vacations with both sets of grandparents, Brandon and I decided it was about time we try a family vacation with just the 5 of us. We were going to have to attempt it sometime why not when Eleanor is in her fussiest stage and Adeline at her busiest. Thanks to my mom's connections we were able to use a resort condo of a friend of hers at no cost. The condo is in a large master-planned resort, called Suncadia, about an hours and a half outside of Seattle. I would categorize this place as a yuppie-liberal take on camping. You can fly-fish, golf, hike and swim and then return to your 5 star condo fully-equipped with granite, marble and high-end appliances. I think the bathroom was bigger than both kids bedrooms put together.

We arrived to our condo that hadn't been cleaned since the owners were last there a month ago. There were 3 bags of rotting garbage sitting in the kitchen. And the stench was permeating the hallway outside the room. We quickly returned to the lobby with 3 starving children and a huge cart of luggage and were told that it would take at least an hour and half to have the room cleaned. After 2 hours of traffic what's another hour and a half?

The receptionist told us that the gourmet restaurant on premise did have a kid's menu and since it was our only option we plopped our hungry brood down at a corner table. The place settings had at least 2 different size wine glasses at every plate. As I promptly moved all of the wine glasses to the center of the table Brandon ordered himself a double Vodka Tonic. I began nursing Eleanor at the table, much to dismay of the diners around us (and yes I did have a Hooter Hider on), and ordered the kids a $12 kids meal. I sneakly changed diapers on the chair under the table cloth as none of the lobby restrooms and changing tables (yes- the resort does advertise as being kid-friendly).

When we finally got up to the room it smelled rancid. They were able to clean the rooms and makes the beds but not able to get rid of that awful smell. Luckily the owners had a lot of candles that I lit promptly. Thank God for Glade...

We spent the next day at the Fall Festival the resort was hosting. It was great fun! They had a mechanical bull that Carter got to ride on, bouncy houses, corn maze, hay rides, a petting zoo, etc. The kids had a great time. Once we got back to the room, Brandon had the rough job of staying with the girls while they napped (aka watching college football) and Carter and I headed to the indoor pool and water slides.

We decided to take one of the wooded trails to get there. After walking for what seemed like 20 minutes with no sign of civilization I saw an opening and headed up to see where in the world we were. As I climbed the steep grassy hill I realize I am on the green of the golf course. I apologize to the golfers and ask where the pool is and they point me in the direction but tell me it is a really long steep walk. Right then a Marshall pulls up and gives us a ride up to the pool, letting Carter drive. Thank God he showed up because the walk would have been horrendous, nothing but steep hills.

We got back to the room for dinner and as the kids were eating I look up and Carter is passed out on the couch. I thought he was probably worn out from such a busy day but Brandon thought he felt hot and when I checked his temp, sure enough he was 103. To bed with everyone!

Sunday came and as I was packing up Adeline somehow got hold of a permanent Sharpie and went to town on the beautiful wooden trim of the sliding door, leather ottoman, and finished wood side table. At that point all Bran and I could do is laugh. We put Adeline in jail (the pack'n'play) and she promptly scaled the wall, we'd didn't even know she could do that, but obviously we weren't too surprised. As we are frantically scrubbing the furniture with hair spray and baking soda, Adeline pulled a 40lb solid wooden side table on her barefoot. She screamed bloody murder and stopped walking on it as it began to swell. We gave it some time and a few hours later when she still wasn't walking we decided to call the triage RN who told us to head to Children's ER for xrays. So we spent then end of our vacation in the ER, thankfully with no break just a bad contusion. We are looking forward to our next big getaway....anyone want to let us use their place?